


The Price of Loneliness

by ActualRealLiveFiveYearOld



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7006588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualRealLiveFiveYearOld/pseuds/ActualRealLiveFiveYearOld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of an AU:<br/>"I'm sorry, but I made a deal. I'm never to see you again, or you'll be killed. Don't try to fight it, because I'll have to watch. I can't watch that again."<br/>How far will Dean be willing to go when a crossroads demon wants more than his soul in exchange for Cas' life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price of Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything, but I take full responsibility for any hearts broken. I have duct tape... I can offer a bit of help.  
> Please leave a review or a comment. I love seeing those more than kudos.

"Cas, I'm sorry. This was the only way."  
Dean spoke over the phone. The angel couldn't believe that their goodbye wouldn't even be face to face.  
"Dean, I'll come find you. It's okay, this will work out. Just wait where you are."  
"I've told you, Cas. I'm not allowed to see you," Dean stared at the phone booth's cieling.  Tears still escaped the corners of his eyes.  
"Just wait for me."  
"Goodbye, Cas. I love you."  
"Dean, ju-" Cas began.  
"Say it back, Cas. This is your last chance. Say I love you."  
"Just wait for me!"  
Dean shook his head silently. He tried to conjure up a memory of the angel's face as he dropped the phone in the cradle.  
Cas listened to the dial tone for a full minute before clicking to end the call.  
He didn't say it.  
He hadn't told Dean that he loved him.  
  
Cas looked around the bunker, in a panic. When was the last time he said it? Of course Dean knew it, right?  
But hunting took a lot of focus. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember saying it in the last month. Cas still held the phone in his hand, and he brought it up to his mouth, fingers clasped around it.  
"I love you, Dean."  
  
Dean walked away from the shattered pane of the telephone booth. Wrapping his hand with a bandana, he ducked into the Impala. The engine roared, and he crushed his cell phone against his ear and listened to the message again.  
The same message he's listened to more than fourteen times.  
"Dean Winchester. Sorry we couldn't talk much when I was reviving your angel earlier. Of course, such a deed on my part is not free. You saved his soul from damnation in hell, but now you both must suffer on Earth. If you meet with him again, I will skin him as you watch, and the screams of your beloved will haunt you in your last moments, and I can personally assure that you do not end up together. Be warned, Winchester. I can track you down and tear you both apart. For your sake, I hope we don't speak again."  
The message clicked off with the option to delete it. Dean pressed a button near the bottom and returned to the voicemail screen, scrolling down four days. He tapped another message and held it to his ear.  
"Dean, this is important! Pick up the phone!" The urgency in Cas' voice amused him, as he knew what he would say next.  
"I'm picking out pillows and you still haven't decided between oak and maroon! I can't exactly do this on my own, babe. Call me when you get this."  
The message clicked to the same screen, and he did the same as before. He listened to messages like that from over two years before. Cas' voice became warmer and warmer as the days went on and their relationship deepened. Tears had already begun pricking behind his eyes as he tapped the most recent one, from only a day before.  
"Dean, I'm in trouble."  
There it was, the dull ache in his chest.  
"I-I don't think I'm going to make it much longer. I need your help."  
A wet coughing sound erupted from the speaker.  
"I'm at a church. I think it's called Joan Of Arc. Something like that. Please, I know you don't pick up often, but I need you to pick up now... okay, babe?"  
The line went silent, but he knew it wasn't over. He winced when he heard loud footsteps, then the last line came in a hushed, desperate whisper.  
"Please pick up, Dean."  
  
That was when he had dashed to the church to find Cas, empty and battered. He had an angel blade jutting out from his side, and blood pouring from his mouth.  
"Cas!"  
He had dropped to his knees and gathered Cas' broken body to his chest, carding his hand through raven-black hair. Dean pulled his hand away from the angel's head to find that the hair had been caked in blood.  
"Cas, baby, no."  
Dean muttered every pet name the angel had earned, whispering them into deaf ears as though he were stringing together a necklace of precious metals. He muttered them in abundance, as if to avoid making a necklace so tight that he would choke.  
It didn't matter how much he had said.  
Dean still choked.  
  
He choked on the words, and on arriving much too late.  
He choked on the feeling of hands that were always cold, but could no longer be warmed by his.  
He choked on the dust that flew as he dug the shallow hole in the crossroad.  
Yes, Dean choked on many things, including the chalkey lipstick of the demon and the feeling of kissing someone else.  
Kissing a demon who asked too much, who could barely seal the pact due to the stoic grimace the man could not shake from his features.  
Dean thought that he could handle being away from the angel, as long as the angel would not have to suffer that fate.  
Now he wasn't so sure. 

 

There's gonna be a second chapter, calm ur baps.


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